House Dynamics Change

The house dynamics have taken on a major change … major

The kidlet has gone to live with a friend.

I have a whole bunch of thoughts on this and it’s going to take a little while to sort them out.

I will say that the move was a hmm…. friendly one.  I don’t know how else to explain that except to say that she didn’t pack up all her stuff and leave because she was angry.  There were no angry words from us, no angry words from her.  I’m sure there are feelings of unhappiness… dissatisfaction perhaps… and fair enough that those would be there…

I know that for me, I am a mixed bag of feelings…. concern and worry as to how she will be.  The unhappiness that I have been feeling… maybe it’s more disappointment in trying to help her and what felt like her not really caring about help that was offered.  I will be really honest here and say that there is also a sense of relief and feeling this causes a sense of guilt in me but I can’t shake it.  Relief that I won’t have to watch her continued behavior that drove me absolutely nuts… sleep till all hours, refusing to look for work, refusing to go to school, being cussed at and disrespected.

It’s hard… when she was here, trying to find the delicate  balance between being supportive and providing guidance.  I know that she has issues, but trying to help with those was not an easy task.  Even though she has moved out, I will be continuing to work with hubby to try to get her connected up with some counseling.  She did agree as she was leaving to finally allow me to take a look at her resume and to help her rewrite it, something we (hubby and I) have been trying to get her to allow me to do for a month.  We’ll see once she’s settled in whether there are other ways we can help.

So, where do things go from here?  Well, the house should quiet down considerably and hopefully this means a reduction in my stress levels.  It’s been a tough haul lately… stress levels combined with pain issues have caused my agoraphobia to flare up in a nasty way which has had a huge impact on my depressed mood.   Time will tell in this regard.

There’s not much else to say, really…. still processing!

Bye for now.

Update Tomorrow

Major happenings in the A&A household, but they will have to wait until tomorrow.

But… everything is well… just need a day to put it all together.

Bye for now.

Wiped Out, Feeling Good

A busy day today…

Self-harm support group which always knocks the wind out of my sails, makes my head spin, but at the end of everything, when I finally go home, I feel really really good about having been able to be there for people.  I’m not sure how much longer this group will continue to run, but we are not moving through the material in a very quick fashion as we’ve had to adapt it to meet the group’s need.

Finally got my buns out the door to the grocery store today.  Not an easy task as I have been putting off shopping for a while now.  No particular reason for the delay other than the usual – I hate shopping and the store usually brings on a panic attack.  Ugh!  And did it ever.  Several times over.  *sigh*  But… even so, I managed to stock up on more than just the basics and we should be set for a while now.

Despite feeling a little bit fried from all the activity today… wiped out… I feel really damn good.  It’s the sense of accomplishment.  The satisfaction from helping others that boosts up my energy level.

Tomorrow?  What does tomorrow bring?  A babysitting session with my grandson!  Yay and Oh oh!  Yay because I love the little guy and he can bring a smile to my face on the worst of days.  Uh oh because he’s teething and has been a bit on the grumpy side lately.  Poor little guy.

So, that’s it for today.  My brain is still unscrambling from all the activity and so no deep or thoughtful blog entry.

Bye for now.

Eureka and Ha!

About two months ago, I lost my main set of car keys.

I’m famous for losing things… I’ve yet to make it through a whole renewal period with my driver’s license without having to replace it.  The last one, I believe, was replaced twice.  LOL.

I have a list of things I’m currently missing and it mystifies me how I can lose things but I can remember forever what it is that I’ve lost.  I can’t remember where things are, but I can remember their MIA status for a long time?  Go figure.

Well, my car keys.  Missing… two months now and I’ve hunted high and low in the house.  Tossed the bedroom upside down and right side up trying to find them.  Looked in all the usual places.. the end of the bed where there is gap between the matress and the floor… laundry hamper… closet, cleaned out my dresser looking for them, but nope… not there.  The computer room was tidied too and that task is NEVER one I look forward to.  But yep, I cleaned it… won’t say all the interesting things I found in there, but nope, no keys.

I’d pretty much given up.

And then tonight, I hear hubby exclaim, really excited… “I found them!”

“What .. what did you find?”

“Your car keys!”

Well, I’ll be damned and yes, he had found them.  But can you guess where he found them?

Betcha can’t.  Well, I know I never would have thought to look there…

In the bathroom.  They had fallen off the counter and had become nestled down amongst the magazines in the magazine rack.

Wooooohooooo!

So, I’ve tucked them away some place safe and secure, happy to have them back.

I will be adding “Check magazine rack” to my list of unusual places I check when I lose things.

Bye for now.